post birthday blues

i think i was born in the wrong time. i was born a bit too early. browsing through the maiden issue of several new travel magazines, i find myself wishing i had the strength, resources and time to go to all the beautiful spots i see in the magazine. it's two days after my 39th birthday and while i am thankful that i have reached my age, i rue that i have experienced so little. a major setback that started 5 long years ago always seems to hold me back. does it? maybe, i dont know but why do i still find myself mired in the downward pull of quicksand? no branches in sight for me to pull myself up from out of the quagmire so should i just be content with being sucked in? ah...so unfair to just be floating and acquiesing with the flow. such a waste of time. hmmm ... it's becoming humid and it does me no good. i find myself dreaming of the beach whenever i stand on the yellow-edged platform of the mrt on my way to work. others avoid that spot because the morning sun would ceaselessly beat down on the right side of your face and body should you dare to stand in the sun's rays. but i make a beeline for it. sadistic? not really, i dont mind standing in the sun. but i should get some sunblock. yeah, i definitely should. and an ice-cold coke zero too...to go please...