forty 'frickin' four

yep, sometimes i cuss too. but it didn't come out because of anger, exasperation or annoyance. it was more like a "disbelief cuss." :)

today is my new year - i really celebrate it on my birthday, not just january 1st. i try to take stock of things, i try to come up with grandiose, elaborate, well thought-out plans, and i try to also include a plan to follow-through.

try is the operative word.

it used to be easy. of course, 20, 25, 30 years are relatively easy to review. but when i hit my middle-age, it was like a curriculum vitae eight pages longer than it should be, and that just got exhausting. :)

so how would i review my past 44 years? i don't know.

maybe i should just look towards the future. yeah, everyone says you can't do anything about the past because the opportunity for you to do something about it has passed. the future however, is still yours for the taking. 

even for someone like me who never has a long-term plan, BELIEVING the future will be infinitely better than my past sounds like a good plan. 

but i will look back with gratitude for everything and everyone who has made the first half of my life wonderful and beautiful. 

friends who have been there when i needed a shoulder to cry on, a partner-in-crime, travel buddy, cinema buddy, and food tripping pal.

for my family who've been very patient with me, loving, caring, and supportive of what i've done, may they be successes or failures.

for a Father who unconditionally loves, protects, guides, and cares for me. it may take me longer than expected to be what you want me to be, but You have said that you'll meet me wherever i am. may i never forget to just BELIEVE.

thank you everyone for the first half. i'll see you in the second half. 

for those who have yet to play a role in the second part, i hope you'll find it interesting enough to stay and grow with me. welcome to my life, my balanced insanity.